“You think harmony happens just because two things have come together? No. The two parties have to do what they can to prevent a collision! You have to be alert. You have to keep your hands on the wheel and steer,” she said. “My daughter, you all are just beginning. You have to teach each other how things have to be. You have to correct him and give him a chance to make the correction.” (page 248)
My Parents’ Marriage (MPM) by Nana Ekua Brew-Hammond is a remarkable debut novel. Known for her short stories, picture book, poetry, and young adult fiction, in MPM Brew-Hammond delves into a highly emotive story of 23-year-old Kokui’s desires to escape from a dysfunctional family and pursue freedom by writing her destiny. Set across Ghana, Togo and New York, Kokui’s story begins with a rebellious night out at the Ambassador Hotel for Kokui and her sister Nami. In one the trajectory of her life changes. She meets Boris, whose life plans propel Kokui to chase the freedom she has always yearned for. Brew-Hammond tackles pertinent themes such as family dysfunction, love, womanhood, the mother-daughter relationship, inheritance and the political upheaval of the 70s.
Kokui wants to flee her dysfunctional family, a father who is a big wig and cannot stop amassing women and children. Her desire to escape is inflamed by the arrival of another child, Kofi, younger than Nami (her youngest sister), whose mother curses them. Her father, Mawuli Nuga, navigates society and the political situation easily; he is affluent and can bribe his way into and out of spaces. A man of his stature wields great power, and we see him doing great things at times. At his weakest he is seen abusing and taking advantage of women, first his office receptionist and later Micheline’s housekeeper, Afi. This is exactly the type of man Kokui does not want to end up with: five wives and countless children, but he cannot get enough. “Mawuli Nuga was rich, handsome, and magnetic. Men with that trinity of power could do whatever they wanted to whomever. It was up to the women to leave. But still. As a daughter whose mother had left without fully leaving, Kokui felt the betrayal of, and in, her sex.” (page 6). I questioned if Kokui’s issue was with polygamy itself or the brazen way her father handled it.
In Boris and their future together, Kokui places a great expectation- freedom, fidelity and security. Everything that her parents’s marriage never was. From a simple night when their paths cross, two strangers become two lovers whose young love and marriage are tested by their desires and the waves of life. Life happens. “She had known it wasn’t just her admiration for him that had drawn her in. Boris, too, understood the devastation of abrupt, cataclysmic upheaval in childhood.” (page 60). It is in this love story that Brew-Hammond’s pen shines; Kokui and Boris could not be any more different than together. Kokui has high expectations and is chasing a different marriage. Yet, in running towards that, one could not help but wonder if she was placing a heavier load on Boris without doing the necessary work herself. For Boris, the greatest worry is their compatibility. In Ghana, the class question confronts them, and identity issues arise in the USA. I appreciate how, in this narrative, where there are young people at the centre and a relatively new marriage, they are not spared of the growing pains.
Kokui questions why her mother, Micheline, left her father, left them with him and never divorced him. Here lies an exploration of the mother-daughter relationship, which we have seen take several colours in texts by African women. She does not want her parents' marriage for herself; they are a couple that does not live together and only see each other for a week in a year. Kokui questions her mother’s love for herself, and even when she declares that everything she has done in life is for Kokui and Nami, she questions what a mother’s love for her children truly means. The betrayal she feels towards her mother evolves into resentment, creating a gaping rift between the two. Two important things happen to Kokui: she marries Boris and has three opportunities to become a mother. In this situation, she is tested. Did she judge her mother harshly? What is a sacrifice too great? “So much of her confusion and resentment over her parents’ marriage was bound up in her mother.” (page 117) Brew-Hammond adeptly weaves the reader into the web of this relationship; there were times I did not understand Micheline, and even in the end, I wondered if her staying married to Mawuli had been worth it. There were also times when I felt Kokui was unfair to her mother, and even her expectations in life needed a dose of reality. Luckily for her, there are other examples, such as Sammy and Freda, Linda and Mike, Tim and Daphne. But do they do more harm than good?
I went into this read with an open mind, and I loved the writing, especially in the second half. There are other characters who, despite being minor, hold their fort: Nami, Freda, and Aunty Hemma. I am intrigued by Aunty Hemma. I want to know more about her and why she is the woman she is in this book. I would read an Aunty Hemma story any day. At one point, Kokui asks why everything about womanhood is distasteful, and whew! MPM is a gripping read.
Book Details
Title: My Parents’ Marriage
Genre: Fiction
Author: Nana Ekua Brew-Hammond
Publisher: Amistad (2024)
Pages: 277